In life, I have experienced various different pit stops that have knocked me off my center and completely off my intended path. I say “intended” path because when I was 5 years old and was asked “What I want to be when I grow up”, I didn’t say I want to be a poor unwed teen mom with low self-esteem who makes bad choices that are influenced by abusive monsters with a life highlighted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up and it wasn’t a writer. I have loved to read since I was a small child but writing anything seemed like too much work. I hated writing reports and writing was often used as a punishment. I didn’t say I wanted to be a storyteller when I was a child either, although, I loved to listen to stories being told.
Throughout my entire life, I found myself often Side Tracked off my intended path. Being sidetracked seemed to be my theme throughout my life. Often, I felt like a failure. I felt weak, stupid and invaluable because I was weak and stupid. I often prayed for patience and wisdom. I even asked for change while in a magick circle.
One day, I realized that all the things that sidetracked my intended path had a purpose.
I didn’t realize until recently that all the hardships and pain that I have suffered in my life regardless if caused by my own choices or by the choices of others, I was learning something from it. I have experienced a lot of trauma as a child and no, I was not a bad child. I was the vulnerable one. I was the target. Not my choice and yes, it derailed my life from what I really wanted to be.
I wanted to be successful in my life. I wanted to have control of what I did and I wanted most of all to be strong, kind and wise. I have recently discovered that although I went through some horrendous things in my life. Although, I have tried to end my life a couple of times and although, I have struggled with everything I have ever done in my life regardless of good or bad, I was already strong and the experiences didn’t weaken me like I thought. They didn’t destroy me like I once thought. It only derailed me temporarily.
It is because of all the times I have been sidetracked in life by circumstance and poor decisions that I was becoming something else. I am becoming something I didn’t think I would ever be. I am strong, I can be kind, and I am learning to be wise. I needed to experience all those tough lessons that took me off my intended path to direct me on a path I could not see from where I started.
I am not a great Attorney. I never became a police officer. I didn’t become a preacher woman, and I never made it rich. What I did achieve was the realization that I was born with everything I need to be happy. I was born with compassion which allows me to be kind. I was born with an inner drive to survive which not only made me stubborn but it makes me strong. I was born with a unique way of seeing the world which is leading me on a path to become wise. Of course, it has taken me nearly 50 years to come to this realization and I am still “becoming” what I truly desire.
When you are feeling sidetracked in life always remember that you have power. Keep pushing forward. We all get sidetracked. We all are reeled in for a temporary pit stop.
I have been side tracked thousands of times in my life but I have survived. I am a Witch and I have power.
As Long as I have Breath, I can and I will. Watch me!
In Love and Light,