As I recover from a respiratory infection, I am reminded of one of the first things I heard from my first teacher in the craft. She looked at me and said, Witch, Heal thyself. One of the first lessons was, as a witch, I have the responsibility to be a healer of myself first.
No, she wasn’t telling me to go to school and learn a medical degree or even a psychology degree and she wasn’t even telling me to practice without a license. What she meant is that we as witches are responsible to take whatever action necessary to heal. At first when I was sick, I tried herbs and home remedies because after all it was just a virus and I only needed relief. It didn’t take long when I realized I had better seek professional advice. My virus had turned into a bacterial infection. OK, so, herbs didn’t work, spells didn’t work, prayer didn’t work.
Then, as I popped an antibiotic into my mouth, I remembered the old Christian story about the old man who was trapped in a flood. He prayed to God to save him. People came to help him, but he turned it all down with the reply that he was waiting for God to save him. He was soon overtaken by the flood. He spoke to God and asked why he didn’t come to save him. God replied that he did. He sent several conventional means to save him from the flood and the man didn’t accept it. What does this have to do with witchcraft, you ask? Well, it goes to what this post is about. Opportunities come to us in the most ordinary ways.
So What did my teacher mean when she said Witch, heal thyself? Healing comes from within. Sometimes, our feelings and emotions create disease or make us susceptible to disease. Sometimes it is just Science that happens. It is important to know when to look within, when to use spells, prayers, and herbs and when to ask for help. Sometimes, taking medications or other holistic means of healing are necessary. Just because we can not always do it on our own does not make us weak or any less of a Witch. If we have done a healing spell, the outcome may be that the means have now been made available, we just have to accept them.
Sometimes, being responsible for healing ourselves is indeed working with a counselor or medical professional along with our magick and prayers. Witches do indeed go through a transformation with effort and it is true that it is an internal one. However, we are not superheroes who are impervious to illness and disease or that we don’t have emotional disturbances or needs. We are not perfect. Even Superman had issues with kryptonite.
My lesson for the last 2 weeks? know when to reach out and ask for help, know when to accept help, and know that EVERYONE needs help in some way, at some time in their life. Success is doing the right thing, the right way, at the right time. Sometimes the right thing may be asking the right person, the right thing at the right time. Depression isn’t a joke, mental illness shouldn’t be ignored and medical conditions shouldn’t be dismissed. Listen to your body and your intuition. Seek out the best answer, conventional means may be the right thing and now may be the right time and seeking a professional may be the right way.
Witch Heal Thyself.
P.S. I would love to hear your story. Share your comment below
Merry meet. Oh how much I relate to your story. As I read about your childhood and growing into adult hood my life too I was reading it seemed. Just the other day I started thinking about creating a blog. Though I’m only 34 years old, I’m finding myself having to seek for disability because I can no longer stand up nor sit or have the mental clarity to do a job, how could I keep one. The counselor asked me several questions when I went for an appointment for my disability (for extra information) and a while later I was trying to think back on things I was asked and then realized just how messed up my mind really is. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. I’m having to live with a man that rescued me and my son who was less than a year old at the time, from an abusive husband. I thought he was my knight in shining armor. My family put me through pure agony along with my ex for 3 years after our divorce until I finally got a court order for him to stay away and out. But little did o know that I moved on to something even worse than the physical abuse. My ex may hit me But he would tell me I was beautiful. He never spoke ill of me. The one I’ve been with for almost 4, and is the only daddy my 4 year old son knows, is much worse. He has hurt me more in 4 years than I’ve been hurt my entire life, and I’ve been trough a lot. But I wouldn’t talk to anybody with the means he speaks to me. I see hate in his eyes, though I’ve stood by him when others would have left within the first 2 months. He does not touch me, unless he has the desire, which is only about once every 3-4 months. At times he can be so unbelievably sweet, but that last no more than a little over a week, and it all goes away right back into “I hate you, you stupid b….h” and things like “your as stupid as you look”, “the only reason you’ve ever been here is because of your son”, “I’ve never thought you was a good mother”, “I would rather suck a d..k, that do anything with you”, etc… it goes on and on. I’ve made a list of the comments in my tablet and titled it “Words I Wish I Would Have Never Heard”. I could right a book. But he has helped my self esteem decrease, which I’ve never had an issue with really, that I honestly feel like I wouldn’t succeed at anything. If he can’t possibly love me after everything I have went through to be with him, to keeping us together, through staying through all he’s put me through, and everything my ex put us both through, how could he ever say he has ever loved anyone? I have been every personality to him I could possibly dream up to try and please him, but he hated all of them, including the one I was when we met that he stated he fell in love with. I miss her so much, and often wonder if she will ever return. I long for so much. I stay fatigued, never with energy or will, I’m breaking down, and all I’ve ever asked is for love in return. It will come in spurts short lasted and far between, but when thy do, I feel like I’m in heaven. And I question my own saintly (well as of the moment, I know I’m not really sane) but how could I possibly love someone so much??? How could I ever have given my whole heart, soul and entice being to someone who treats my so cruel??? And not to mention without one ounce of what seems to be remorse. But I’m feeling merely stuck at the moment, feeling lost and ruining my own child’s life just to have a roof over our heads until I get my disability approval. I have no family or friends. The one person that I considered to be all of the above is the one that has pushed me down so far I wonder if I will ever gets back up. I don’t desire to be alone the rest of my life, but I feel that I don’t know that I could ever allow myself to get close again. Scared!!! This I s a horrible pain to go throughout n a daily basis. And nights are so dreadful. I sleep alone in the bed that we on certain shared and where on occasion I felt loved even if only for a moment in time. How do you recover??? I have cured out to the Lord and Lady, my angels and spirit guides. I’ve asked why I deserve all I reap. I beg just for the one thing I want so very much, I scream out in despair, but I feel like I’m t heard or maybe I’m noteworthy enough to even those. So I sit writing this now trying to hold back the tears. I don’t know how one can cry so much without getting dehydrated. I really don’t know what else to say. I never was really into believing the whole Christian tails as I was growing up and had always been pulled towards the raft. And it wasn’t until just s couple of years ago that I actually opened my first book. And it all made sense. It helped keep my mind at ease at the time as well giving me something more to focus upon. But I’m lost s well. I believe what I believe, but I feel as if I’m it being heard. And I wonder what kind of horrible person I must have been in a past life to build such a karmic debt, because I know that in this life I’ve been no where near perfect, but what karma I have built should have been paid in full by now, much sooner actually.
I understand where you are right now. Alone, scared, unloved, abused. In your story, I see that the years of abuse have changed the way you perceive yourself and your world. Let me tell you what I believe. I believe that you are worth love and deserve love. I don’t believe you are a horrible person, stupid or deserving of such abuse. I believe, you need to get out of that situation even if it is to a shelter if you can get into one. A teacher told me long ago that letting go, the destruction of the old must take place to make room for the new. Like in construction, An old building must be demolished and the debris cleared away before a new building can be built in its place. What I mean by that is to change your situation you have to let go of your abusive relationship. You may or may not get disability so you can’t plan for that or depend on that at this time. because you just don’t know. Here is a question to ask yourself. What is it that you are actually asking the goddess for? What does your heart truly desire? Do you want to be loved? or is it that you want HIM to love you? Do you want your situation to change? or do you want HIM to change? Maybe the goddess can’t help you or the universe can’t give you what you are asking for because it isn’t in agreement with what you really desire, what is agreeable to the universe and what the goddess knows you truly need.
Instead of asking for things with HIM to change, ask for an option to change your situation. He is abusive, he is an individual, you can not change him or make him love you. Some people are simply toxic to you and to save yourself and your son you may have to find a way out of the situation. The dark moon is coming, we are in the waning phase of the moon cycle. now is a good time to work on getting rid of toxic things and then you will have to follow with bringing in something positive and new. That is if you want to use magick. Instead of praying for him to love you, to treat you good like you deserve as a human being and no that is not asking too much, ask the Lord and Lady to help guide you, to give you clarity in your view of the situation. Before you can heal, you have to get out of the toxic situation. Look at this way. If a rattlesnake bit you and you had an antivenom to use but you continue to allow the snake to bite you, what do you think would happen eventually? What should you do? Stay and let the rattlesnake bite you because you have antivenom? Get away from the snake? Get out of the snakes nest? Or stay until something mysteriously happens through osmosis?
Abuse is like venom and the abuser is like the snake. It is their nature and they are not likely change.
Ask the goddess to provide you with resources in your area to help you get away from the toxicity of an abusive relationship. Ask for the strength to do what it will take to change your situation. Of course it is important to ask for the help of right professionals when needed. You mentioned a counselor. I believe that counselors can help guide us on our journey of healing and that these and other professionals play an important role in our recovery.
I believe the Lord and Lady hear your prayers, but maybe they just need you to have an Aha! moment. Maybe they are giving you advice in your intuition and counselor’s advice but it isn’t what you want to hear. We as human beings do that and I don’t know why we so often do. I used to think that I was a horrible person in a past life and that is why I had so much negative stuff happen to me. I discovered for myself that, because of all of the influence in my life from abuse, religion, society and any other influence along with my own true personality, it was my own way of thinking, my own core beliefs, my own actions or lack of actions that was causing me to attract abusive people.
I finally had enough and realized that the reason I allowed people like that in my life was because of me. I often said my picker was broken. I finally decided, enough is enough, I’d rather be alone and homeless than to ever be treated like that again. I refused to date for a couple of years after that and I was against getting involved with anyone during that time. I didn’t even have friends or family. I was alone. I really got to know myself during that time and I learned a lot about myself. Then, in an online class, relationships was discussed. I learned what to expect from a healthy relationship. It was some time before I came to the conclusion that I am a human being, I a good person, I deserve to be treated with the same respect that I give others and I decided that would be my demand or my deal breaker. No respect = No relationship.
That was the beginning of my journey of healing. We often forget that we have control over our lives when it comes to our decisions and our actions and we are definitely in control of our own thoughts. If I have any advice it is simply to change the way you allow others to influence you, your thoughts, your decisions, and your feelings. That brings me to magick. I use magick but first it is important to understand who you are, how you work, and how you are connected to magick. As you learn about you, and you learn to be honest with yourself. I mean tell yourself the truth about you. Who you really are. What you really want. What you really believe. Then, you have begun to take back your control of your life.
I hear you. I know you don’t feel heard, but the god and goddess hear you too. Listen carefully for their answer.
They are waiting for you to take a step.
In Love and Light,
Blessed Be
Merry meet. Thank you. Blessed be.