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As can be assumed by my last post, I have been ill. I have learned some things about myself over the last few weeks especially. I have heard over and over about how everyone has a story. This story defines three things, who we believe we are, who we want others to believe we are and who we really are.
I have always considered myself to be mostly self-aware. I have always known about my persona as a Witch. My public persona. We all create our own public persona and the diversity can be amazing. However, my perspective over the last few weeks has changed when I look at myself. I have realized something about myself that I really was stuffing in the back dark shadows of who I think I am.
In society, the population of people where we as humans exist, there are many stereotypes, misconceptions, and basic human social issues. Anyone who identifies with the label of Witch has to struggle with misconceptions about the various types of Witches. We all have a specific persona we create to represent who we think we are and what we want people to think of us.
I realized that I have several personas I display for different groups. I think of them as different masks. I realized that many of these masks don’t actually represent who I really am at all. For example, I have been playing the pretend game with relatives. The game where none of us really like each other but we put on fake smiles and hug each other and pretend we are best friends because we are related.
I came to the realization that I actually don’t like that game of pretend. Sure, We all wear our personas as a means of self protection but within a private social aspect of my life, I am not okay with being that fake. Something hit me as I fell into an argument with a sibling, on Facebook, Publicly. Half way through the disagreement, I realized the issue we were arguing about was not the real issue at all. The real issue, is I didn’t like the mask I wear for family for the sake of keeping the peace. I discovered that I don’t really like them. They are not the type of people whom I would even want to be associated with. I discovered about myself that although, they are all aware of my beliefs and thoughts and feelings, we don’t even have the same morals, values or core beliefs.
The persona of a particular Witch may vary but over all, many Witches try to oppose the stereotypes and misinformation. I discovered about myself that I was trying so hard to create an image for mainstream that I totally lost sight of the real Witch I am.
Thanks to an adverse reaction to a particular pain medication, I haven’t been responding well to issues that I feel passionately about. I am not sorry for what I said, I do regret how I said it. But, I realized, my persona as a Witch, didn’t represent my true feelings, beliefs, or personal practices.
The Witch I aspire to be and the Witch I am now have a new perspective. I realized, I enjoy and believe in diversity. I am strongly passionate about human rights. I truly believe that we all lose sight of the goal much like I did in that argument. What I have learned so far this year is to keep my focus on what is really important and real instead of creating a persona to battle misinformation.
Being ill has taught me many lessons and I have made new discoveries about myself I would not have learned otherwise.
In Love and Light,