Originally, I heard this statement “holier than thou” in a church. I found that some people need to see themselves as better than others in some way. It can be that they have to see themselves as “more righteous” or “holier” or “smarter” or “more desirable” than others.

Those whom I would call “Real” or “Authentic” are true to their titles and may actually be Holy or Righteous or successful in what they do and often display some humility. Being successful and a leader in their field of expertise like Tony Robbins, Prem Rawat, Patrick McCullum, John Edwards, Selena Fox, and many others not mentioned, are not what I would call the “holier than thou” type of people.  These amazing people have worked hard and have earned their reputations. There are many whom I call “the Authentics”.

I discovered there is one element in the “Holier than thou” type that seems to be consistent. They feel inferior to someone else. Usually, the targets of this feeling of inferiority can’t even imagine why someone would feel inferior to them. This “holier than thou” type often will put others down. They have nothing nice to say about anyone, they belittle others who they feel are not worthy, they believe they are more impressive than others regardless of their lack of accomplishments, they may even charge outrageous fees (I’m talking about $100 or more) for autographed books or photos when nobody even knows who they are. This type will spread rumors to destroy their “competition’s” reputation and so on. Everyone else (the normal folks) just smile politely and roll their eyes at this point of view.

For the sake of my opinion, when I use this phrase “holier than thou”, it is in reference to those who feel so inferior that they have to put others down to feel good about themselves.  those who actually go around telling people they are something they clearly are not. The “holier than thou” types are the ones who jump up and down yelling “look at me, I’m wonderful!” As they sit on their self-imposed pedestal while everyone around them is asking “Do you know this person because I can’t find anything about them” they all look at each other and shrug in confusion.

So, who are the Holier than thou self-righteous jerks? Those who sit and praise themselves on self-imposed unearned pedestals and expect others to fall at their feet. It is perfectly normal to toot your own horn by stating your accomplishments but not to demand respect or even accolades just because you say you deserve it. Being excited about an accomplishment is normal too and if those around you are supportive, they will cheer you on and encourage you to do more.

I have written two books. I have a website. I have a degree. I went to a University. I am a High Priestess. I am good at teaching. These are all good to know  when you are being considered for something that requires those accomplishments. It is your resume. That is how you sell yourself when you are trying to conduct business. If I want to have a website to promote my business, I am not likely to hire someone who only knows how to create a Weebly site or some other do it yourself program. I can do that myself.  I will look for an expert in web design and marketing with a good resume. Not because they say “Hi, I am an expert” but because I have seen what they can do. I have read their book, read their reviews and their website is an example of what they can do. I am going to look at their “resume”.

I am not the type of person to buy a product because the manufacturer says it’s the #1 brand. After all, aren’t they all the #1 brand or the Best of whatever? How do we know which product to buy? As it has been advertised, “the proof is in the pudding”.

If I want a political representative, I will look for someone with necessary qualifications and accomplishments in politics. There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance or Giving a resume of qualifications compared to boasting. Expectations of accolades with a demand for respect not earned is just as bad as judging someone without fact-checking regardless if positive or negative.  Fact-checking is done by reading their book or interviewing them or if you are lucky you will get to watch someone else’s public interviews with them (in the case of well-known people).

Don’t put much belief in gossip without fact-checking. I’ve learned this year, it is extremely important not to take someone’s “self-praise” at face value. I learned that no matter how wonderful someone claims to be, just freaking read their books, interview them, use your own best judgment based on as much information as you can get. The same goes with other people’s opinions. I have heard many people complain about Silver Ravenwolf and how horrible she is and how her books suck and she is a horrible writer. I have read her books. I recommend that others actually read her books before expressing an opinion. Make sure your opinion of someone or something is your own.

I personally like Silver Ravenwolf’s writing style. She is easy to understand, very simple and basic for beginners, teaches reasonable ethics and expresses her own opinion.  As it should be considering it is her book. I feel that with anything you read, hear, or see, you should always use your own judgment. Don’t take others opinions as truth or assume their opinion as your own opinion without seeing for yourself. Always think for yourself. Before you jump off the rails, do your homework and get ALL the information.

In Psychology, many teachers or professors in college will teach that Sigmond Freud was a great and amazing psychoanalyst. I have read quite a bit of his theories. I have always thought of him as a crackpot. I only recently discovered that he was a cocaine addict which explains a lot of his theories.  I often wondered how anyone could ever take much of what this man said seriously. But, they do. If I never took the time to read any of his crap, I would have never known it was crap. I would have just gone about parroting how wonderful he is instead of forming my own opinion.

Take what others say lightly and don’t put much into what they say. (Including what I say)Always do your homework and fact-check. A “holier than thou” person is someone who boasts themselves onto a pedestal and demands respect instead of earning it. Usually, this is someone with low self-esteem and feels inferior. Holier than thou people are insecure and need others approval and acceptance. That is why they have to build illusions of themselves.  The authentics or real people are secure with themselves and have no need to boast or create illusions of who they are. The Authentics are placed on the pedestal by other people, not by themselves because they don’t have to be on a pedestal to feel good about themselves.

Authentic leaders don’t boast about themselves because others do it for them.

Don’t confuse an over-achiever with a “holier than thou”. Usually, an over-achiever is simply driven and self-motivated. They have to do what they do and it has nothing to do with you. Think about why you feel inferior to someone else. If you are a “holier than thou”, ask yourself why you have to put yourself on that pedestal?

I am weird and I know it. I don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Seriously, People on pedestals have a habit of falling off . The higher they sit the harder they fall. Self-imposed or Not. I do, however, hold a lot of respect for many whom I want to be like. I have role models that I look to for examples. However, I may respect them but I have no illusion about them being anything more than a human just like me.

Remember, We are all on the journey together just in different places. We are all learning something. Be yourself and be Authentic. There is always someone ahead of you.

In Love and Light,

Summer Song