All my life I have been told to be careful what I wish for. The Test of the three wishes granted by a genie has played out through all sorts of media. There have been movies, television series, and sitcoms that brush over their version of what can go wrong when you use wish magick.

When I was young it was a lot of fun to imagine what we would wish for and have a friend destroy the dream with all the things that could go wrong with the wishes. As we play out the scenarios of wishes we learn how to plan for contingencies that could go wrong and when we were surprised by a result we learned how to roll with the bad parts.

When I was young I used wish magick a whole lot. I often got what I wished for and no, the wishes didn’t always turn out the way I planned. We really do need to be careful of what we wish for because what we think we want isn’t always what we truly desire. This is something to consider when using any form of magick.

I wished a certain boy liked me and he did. The problem is that I didn’t know the boy well enough to know what kind of boy he was. Oh, he was nice but not really a match for me. We didn’t have much in common and he couldn’t offer what I was really looking for.

It’s not that I really desired that particular boy although I thought I did. I actually wanted to be accepted and loved and be special to one person who I felt equally enthralled with. I placed all my desires for those things onto my own imagined version of the guy I thought I wanted. If only he would notice me. I want him to like me. I want him to be my boyfriend.

He was cool and all the other kids followed him. I thought he was someone he wasn’t. I didn’t really get to know him before I wished for him and I wasn’t really in touch with what I really wanted. Also, I didn’t take into consideration that there are consequences that we can’t always predict because we don’t always have all the information.

I would always say I wish this or I wish that and if I really wanted it, I would get it. A long time friend began to warn me. Be Careful what you wish for because you always get it. Sometimes it was great and turned out better than I expected and opened doors I never thought would open for me. I learned that life is bittersweet. Good things and bad things come together as a pair. There are an upside and downside to everything we think we want.

Today, when I know something is not right and I wish things were a little different, I have learned to really consider the consequences of whatever I am wishing for. Let’s say I wished for a million dollars in my bank account, I could make that happen. I could wish it into manifestation. But the one thing that comes with a million dollars is the sacrifice of time and energy spent to gain that million dollars. If I win the lottery people see it as free money and should be shared with everyone and that it shouldn’t be saved or used wisely. It should be given away. I would make a lot of enemies because I wouldn’t give it away. I really want to use it over the remaining years of my lifetime. What I really want isn’t money but an easy life.

Winning the money wouldn’t be as enjoyable unless it was somehow kept secret. Inheritances of financial and materialistic natures usually come with a tragic loss and the most respected way to get a million dollars is to earn it. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Long hours and lots of cash spent on training and school, the sacrifice of family time or sacrifice of social activities or even a sacrifice of sleep. Something must be given before it can be received.

When I plan to do any kind of spell, I think about what it is that I really want. It takes a little soul searching and rational thinking by looking at it without emotional attachment. Is what I want what I really need and is it going to really make me happy? Is it really worth the sacrifice required to get it? Even if I use magick it doesn’t mean it will come easy, it just means the opportunity is likely to come and I will still have to make choices to create the outcome. I eventually came to the realization that If I am not willing to sacrifice for it then I don’t really want it.

In love, when we break up with someone, the pain of the loss is horrendous. In fact, sometimes the pain of loss is worse than the pain of misery from being with the wrong person. We think we want that particular person because that person is the focus of our pain. We really want that particular person to love us and want us and be the person we want them to be. But they don’t and they aren’t that person. They are not meant for us. There are painful relationships with excruciating endings and all we really want is for the pain to stop and to be happy while feeling loved.

We are likely to consider a love spell to bring back that one person who broke up with you and wants to see other people. We think that if we do a love spell to “make” them love us everything will be wonderful. But in life and with magick there is this thing called free will. We can’t really “make” someone love us. Love spells that are made to force someone to love us when they weren’t meant to love us, usually turn out to not be love but more of a miserable obsession. Love has to be true and in order for it to be true it has to be through a genuine emotional response. We can’t force ourselves or others to love someone we don’t really love so other behaviors are the consequence of the magick.

The movies have a hilarious version of what happens with love spells and love potions. They are entertaining and hilarious to watch a guy running away from a swarm of girls chasing him around town. But with a whole different kind of drama is what certain love spells that try to overpower free will attracts. Obsession, jealously, stalking and constant drama even when you are ready for them to just go away, they can’t because your love spell worked. They can’t get themselves to leave you even if they will never be happy or love you.

The bottom line is that spells work, they just don’t always have the results that we thought we were going to get. I have helped myself and others in matters of the heart using magick but it hasn’t been to make someone love me or another person but for healing to help us become the person who will attract the kind of person we desire. Once I helped give a nudge to help the person look inside himself to determine how he felt about his wife that he wasn’t sure if he loved her anymore or not. As she waited for his answer we did a little spell to help him with introspection and know for sure if he loved her or Not. We needed him to be certain at least for the moment exactly how he felt so that their lives would no longer be in limbo.

She got what she wanted. It was a painful week but before long he was certain that he really did love her and they built their relationship from there and raised their two kids together. She was prepared to hear him say he didn’t love her and wanted a divorce but she was hoping he loved her. He could have easily went the other way but after really examining the situation, she didn’t want to stay married to a man who didn’t love her because that would have been a loveless and miserable marriage but what she really wanted was to know either way because not knowing was crippling.

Wiccans are known for telling people, “I don’t do love spells” it isn’t ethical. It sounds self-righteous but that is not the real reason that Wiccans don’t do love spells. They don’t do love spells to make people love you because any good magick user understands that life doesn’t always flow the direction we want it. Forced love is not really love at all. The person being forced to love may become obsessive and be tortured with guilt from not being able to be faithful, or really loving the other although they can’t seem to walk away which is what they really want and the relationship will be miserable for everyone. Wiccans and other magick users know that sometimes what we wish for is not what is best for us or what we really need or really want. Sometimes, we need to walk away and let them leave and heal from the loss.

We try to understand ourselves and the more honest we are with ourselves the better our magick serves us. It isn’t always going to be perfect because we are all human but care should be taken when deciding what we really want. I think the hardest thing about magick is balancing my own emotional response which is rarely rational on its own by applying reasonable and rational logic. Sometimes that means talking it out with someone. There are times when I really want to get revenge on a particular person. I would love to see what they did to me happen to them with equal force.

Once I let myself feel angry and resentful, I rationalize by realizing that what I really want is to not be a victim of this person’s harmful deeds. I try to see things from their perspective. What if I wasn’t the victim of this person? What would I do if I was simply a witness to the crime? People do bad things all the time and no one is exempt. I am not perfect and a bowl of sunshine all the time. We all have a Darkside. Instead of doing a spell to ruin the life of the perpetrator in a way I would love to witness it happen, I simply severed any emotional attachment to him and the situation. I forgave myself for being the victim and have been moving on through healing old wounds.

I discovered, that it isn’t the money I want, but the freedom I can buy with the money. I don’t care if I have a billion dollars. Money has no meaning attached to it for me. I have a hard time visualizing money in my pockets. What I can visualize is the freedom I can buy. Going to an event, buying a particular item, hanging out with certain people we really like but don’t have the finances to keep up. those things have value but I have yet to attach money to those desires. Until I can make that connection, I won’t be able to really gain the cash flow I believe I want.

We have to understand what we truly desire compared to what we think we want. Be careful of what you wish for because you just might get it.

Summer Song