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On a typical day as an empath, I find myself very sensitive to other people’s energy. In 2016, I haven’t spent much time physically around other people. I recently discovered that my shield is not as practiced or as strong as it used to be. It is like a muscle. If you don’t exercise it and practice, it will weaken.
It is even more apparent now that I am going through menopause. OOOOH I said it, Menopause…
As I began to approach menopause, I didn’t know what to expect. I heard about the hot flashes and one person talked about the irritability but not in a way I could really grasp the” insanity” of it. I finally was in full swing, hot flashes, and night sweats included. I have discovered that menopause feels very much like puberty. It started with the emotional instability that I remember experiencing during puberty. The uncontrollable crying and overly sensitive feelings and a bit of agitation. Ok, an insane amount of agitation. I am having an easier time dealing with the agitation than I am the crying fits which also seem insane. Tears were streaming down my cheeks every time I saw a cute dog or a fluffy kitty or anything cute for that matter. I cried over everything.
I was near someone who was out of control of her irritability and at the same time, I am struggling with my crying. It was not a pleasant experience. with the onset of perimenopause, I found myself taking a lot more cleansing breaths and grounding than I ever remember before. I thought to myself, this has to be menopause. Then I thought about how I feel when I am safely tucked away at home by myself with me and my loved ones. Still insane but a bit more controllable with the help of my loving empathic partner.
Although it seems to be passing quite quickly for me, (Thank goodness), I considered how I feel when I don’t have a lot of exterior stimulation of my emotions, when I am in a crowded place such as a store or restaurant compared to when I was around other women with heightened hormone issues.
I want to discuss for a minute a little about that secret period of a woman’s life as she transitions in the final place in the aging process and being an empath. It is already difficult in life to deal with empathy while going through anything emotionally difficult. I call my self-defense shield “my wall”. This brick wall type shield isn’t really a wall at all but is more of a conditioning process. It is to accept that I feel empathy for other living beings and it is not my situation. Knowing that it is completely acceptable that I feel empathy for others which helps me to create the shield. Knowing that my own feelings are caused by my own situations and that is what I have control over. That process of “thinking” is what gives me the strength to be the shoulder to lean on without falling apart during a time of need. Being in the position of needing support makes being the support next to impossible.
Recently, when I was sitting in a group of other menopausal women, the hardest part was that they were not my long time friends and I really had no personal connection with them what-so-ever. Being very strong at projecting emotions themselves, I was being bombarded by the energy they were sending out and it wasn’t the kind that feels good. I am sure it didn’t feel good to her any more than it felt good for others around her.
I tried to shield and I knew what she was going through and I know I could have been more of a support for her had I been someone who already had a history with her and wasn’t going through the perimenopause crap myself. Instead, I was not only trying to control my own uncontrollable crying fits but I was now in a place where I had to not say anything at all while being bombarded with waves of irrational irritability from someone else. My own menopause was making it difficult to allow outside energy to deflect and roll off. Being empathic and going through menopause at the same time as someone else you are around is explosive.
Going through menopause and being sensitive to Energy feels like a wave of an ocean or a strong gust of wind. It hits me, I feel its intense coldness or it intense warmth. A little too intense and it is uncomfortable and knocks me on my backside. It washes over me, parting its path around me much like a boat or a rock or any obstacle in its path. it can be as mild as a summer breeze or as intense as a tornado. It can be as mild as a low soft wave brushing over my bare feet or like a riptide sucking me under and feel like I’m drowning.
Sometimes, it feels like electricity. A little tingling coursing over my body varying in its intensity. with that said, Emotionally charged energy can be very intense for an empath especially an empath going through perimenopause. Being sensitive to various types of energy can be a stimulating experience or it can be devastating. Empaths are not void of their own emotions and sharing others emotions simply increases the intensity. Going through that very secret change of life and crossing over from mother to “The Crone” is a difficult time in life especially because of the secrecy of the “craziness” people see on the outside and Post-menopausal women don’t talk about and yes, I have asked. It is a secret that should NOT be kept. It is true! You feel like a complete NUT while you are going through it and people around you tell you how “crazy” you are. But in reality, you are not actually crazy, simply hormonal.
At those moments when I was not prepared for a situation with the expectation that I may need to shield made it even worse. Let me tell ya, being an empath and battling my own hormonal changes and dealing with the energy of others seemed to be the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I had no one to warn me or explain what I should expect. I am finally getting some control over it. I don’t need to take as many cleansing breaths and I am not being fully awakened with the intense night sweats, and finally the emotional insanity is finally taking a break.
Just like menopause, empaths need guidance through their lives to gain control over this intensity. Being trained to decern between their own feelings and the empathy for others. I find that being an empath also makes me sensitive to energy. The energy of others. It is my experience that people generally have an individually identifiable energy and it tells a lot about a person. I also believe that one’s emotional state changes how one is perceived by others. I often wonder if others actually feel energy but they just aren’t aware of it.
Becoming the Crone is a difficult bridge to cross. It is such a life-changing experience and comes with its own baggage packed full of societal views and expectations.
I do know that what we feel is completely up to interpretation as an empath and as Crone. We all may feel it but we each identify it differently. What feels good and comforting to some may be uncomfortable to others. It all goes back to the basics of being aware of our own breath, our own heart beat, our own thoughts, and our own energy before we can be aware of the energy of others. Being aware of our emotions and what we are sending out while going through the Crone change of life especially if we are empathic is essential. I learned that during times such as Hormonal changes in life, being aware of ourselves is the first step in the process of being aware of others and increasing our awareness to the energy of all things.
I find it true that energy is in everything and we resonate with some frequencies more than we do with others and not everyone resonates with the same ones. We are all different and becoming the Wise Old Crone may mean different things for different people. If you are sensitive to energy you are doing fine, you just have to work with it. If you do not feel energy, don’t worry, that is ok too. We all have our own talents. Just being aware that energy is out there is a good place to start. Becoming a Crone is not the end of our life, it is just the beginning of another part of our life. Embrace every aspect of life because each rite of passage that we take makes the difference of what we leave in our wake.
How can I describe energy and what it feels like? You have to experience it to truly understand it. For me, it is like a tingling sensation of electricity, almost. It feels sort of like static electricity similar to the feeling of your clothes sticking to you fresh out of the dryer. The exception is that for me it doesn’t seem to be exactly a physical sensation as much as it is something else entirely.
Perimenopause which is when women are believed to go through a period of temporary insanity is something that all younger women should know about. It happens to all women who live long enough to experience it and many women live long past the transition. It is a difficult time and women need understanding, not patronized and at the same time not an enabler. The best way to help a woman through the transition is to help her work through the emotional turbulence by calling her on her out of control behavior, help her ground, hug as much as she needs and let her know that she isn’t crazy, she is merely hormonal.
To help oneself through those hot moments, be receptive to those around you. Be aware of yourself and your hormonal condition. Allow others to help you through those moments of emotional turbulence physical discomforts of feeling like you are walking through fire. Technically, you are. A fire that will change the rest of your life. Becoming the Wise Old Crone is as positive as you make it.
If you are too young to have had the experience and find yourself around a woman going through it, show her the compassion you would want if you were going through that very difficult change in life. Compassion through understanding and helping her through the change. If you ever took a Lamaze class or have been around an emotional pregnant woman or ever experienced the hormonal changes of puberty, try to remember what it was like and although you may not know first hand, imagine what it must be like. Women have to stick together. Young and Old, together in support of one another and not in competition.
Cheers to becoming the Wise Old Crone, an honored Rite of Passage!
In Love and Light,